The first drop of tears

The nine seven half of the year, I graduated from the primary school, took more than two months holiday, oneself in boring boring, nothing for me to do. Probably because I was in primary school has over two times the level, or that I was in the primary school stage without ambition, my result difference make them disappointed disappointed again, in helpless situation, teachers do not stay in my class. From the beginning to repeat things because, be informed parents, I have the opinion very much, but that 's not for me to say, but parents and teachers say, so in the two years younger than I classmates together side by side, I was very uncomfortable, psychological also feel very guilty. Only this guilt and inner pain, no one can imagine.Then, to the junior high school, my aunt and uncle, and neighborhood folks have advised me not to read, so I went to town to work, I seem to be somewhat unwilling heart, did not listen to their opinions, and think of reading, mind reading, do not know what, may I feel lonely, stay in the quiet village households seem dismal alone, let me feel very afraid, so I read no matter how bad, but also to the nine year compulsory education school.But, I think the day time is long, etc. several day has not yet come, psychological anxious.Sometimes, I'm afraid aunt nagging, uncle's house did not dare to go, have been at home with. And from that time I love to read a Book habits, mother's good at saying: " you read a book, are admitted to a university, so you really go to read a book, you don't read." I was so mom a nag, well, I hate to take all of the book to burn.My graduation exam is over a long time, I didn't know how to grade their own, have been waiting, when my anxiety to fifth days at the same time, the junior middle school admission notice to, can not write performance, I can not find out their performance is bad or good, not over the admission notice I was happy, but when the notice it, but found that there was no money at home for me to read and I feel it.This day Friday daddy go out as I gather books go, home and left me and my mother two.Father outside money very hard, a week later, did not wait for the dad who come back home, I was boring, occasionally also help mother do some housework, but most of the time, I am a person sits on the bed or on the wheelchair. When I was home to sit, to uncle home to flow, because the uncle's path is the only way which must be passed on the junior high school, so, when the school in the school, I'll be watching them back and forth, it seems that I'm reading way does not give up.Father borrow money did not come back, but the family tattle and prate much rise, when aunt in my ears ago often nag daddy thing, I feel creepy," why is it so? Dad, why? Dad. You come back! You come back quickly! I prefer not to read, will not let you be such grievances, such insults. Dad. Dad! What are you? Why are they so say you?" I have been to, have been waiting for his return.Aunt said:" your father too do bad name, that he do it, really lost your face."For a start, I don't know what happened, the mood is very heavy asked aunt:" how? Is there anything, so so serious?"Aunt aggravated by an angry tone said:" your father outside, in order to give you borrow books, first to your aunt's house, he said the home to buy cattle, need to borrow money, so aunt to know, no such thing, so don't borrow. To the ancient city of leaf Tingjia, your father's friends said to buy chemical fertilizer, to borrow a little money, Tingjia leaves no, he will go to your grandma's house to you two uncle's house to borrow, your dad said, is to build a house, your uncle happened to encounter village grow there, ask he once, topic was exposed, he had to go to Ningbo and the town of Evergreen 's aunt 's home to borrow, they have had to go to Shangjie, discussed."In fact, I was really want to ask why, he did know, go to Ningbo, to evergreen all be crystal clear, isn't he is immortal. But I think if I really ask those words do, not waiting for him to come back again. I heard a few times, she simply said, you don't read, simply go out work. I thought, if Dad comes back, I can't read, but sometimes I am unwilling heart, no matter what was advised in the school, I had a few lessons, can comfort my soul! As for the aunt's words I don't want to hear, but also do not want to use it.The school school for several days, Dad. Don't see, at that time I was a little worried, but those tattle and prate is not stopped, but also the diffusion constant at. While I thought in my mind my father come back, and side wanted dad to lend money to come back, I can take a good read, I do not want to give up all of a sudden, but to no avail, since the tattle and prate, my heart was tortured to death.Mom? In addition to complaining that father outside, sometimes, also want to talk to scold me, maybe she more recently than I was upset, so she wants to say I, she said to me, and I don't chew sound.One day, I went to his aunt's house, because the boring, to my aunt's house behind the bamboo inside to digging up bamboo shoots, when I really dig vigorously, suddenly heard the mother's cry, I came down, to see his aunt said Daddy things, let 's lose face, so, my mother sometimes hard to explain for oneself, sometimes feel helpless, because she feels she jumped into the the Yellow River wash not clear, so she felt wronged cry. In fact, say mother instigated, is possible, the key is my own request, forcing the father in the back of the eternal infamy, to say, in the final analysis is my fault, so I ought to. I heard my mother weeping, I also feel very sad.This a few days later, mother's mood has not been good, if not more. I see my mother like this is very worried.After a few days of school, another week has passed, I also miss dad. Don't know Dad outside doing, may be I worry most.X x on the evening, the sun nearly down hill, Dad came back, I go first call dad, like my father and several years not to meet such a. My father from his pocket and took out three hundred yuan in cash for me to go to school, but this money is only a fraction, is not enough to pay for books, she in the presence of outsiders say uncle 's contribution, but not all, because I have three hundred yuan to make books, uncle didn't go with me, in the said dad before, he has not called me to junior high school, but a three again three advised me to give up reading, now papa got money, made a part of my books, I read to, say to their credit, is a little exaggerated.Father left home, also no rest, was mother shouted, did mother's grievance venting gas, while the father, was annoyed, do not know to whom to tell, he 'll go.Mother said:" you come! The money for you to cheat here? Oh. So good, people like you, fool money, you go begging."Dad shouted:" who said that! To who said that! You give me a call! My accusers."Mother said:" without confrontation, the village has spread to open! You to the village to make inquiries will know."" You're so listen to them, they have so good?" Dad said.Mother said:" your sister-in-law also said, do not believe you can go and ask him, do their own things to know!"Later my father also do not know to have to confront, this thing Buleerle. But the father and mother are very long time had not spoken, always keep silence state.I do, because my father helped me to borrow money, I also began on the junior high school. 　 赞 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(散文编辑：江南风)
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